Sifted Wheat

Dear Counselor: How do I remove my anger?

Despite the original question sent in by the listener, "How do I remove my anger?" I dig into how to move through anger so that we don't feel stuck in it, act out of it in ways that hurt others, or keep the toxic habit of pushing it away.
 
In this conversation we will address:
What do we do with anger? Is it a sin? How do we know when our anger has crossed over into sin? Where does forgiveness help or hinder our anger?
 
Wherever you find yourself in this space of anger, you will hear something that can help you. I provide some practical steps to processing anger by exploring and investigating other more vulnerable feelings that might be attached, which actually increases empathy and our emotional intelligence as we make it a daily practice.
 
Have you left a rating or review? That 10 seconds or less would help us so much! Or even better, take that same time and share it with a friend that could use support with their anger!
 
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Dear Counselor: How do I love my toxic family members?

Struggling with family members? Not sure what steps to take or what it looks like to love and/or help someone who exhibits toxic behaviors? This conversation is important to listen to!
 
In this conversation we will address:
The difference between “unhealth” and “toxicity”
The difficulties of separation and validation
What is our role in loving a toxic family member?
What is the role of the community towards those estranged from their family?
 
Wherever you find yourself, I think you will hear something that will help you figure out your next steps or validate your choices to love with distance.
 
Have you left a rating or review? That 10 seconds or less would help us so much!
 
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Dear Counselor: Where was God when I was being molested?

This is a HARD question, but as a counselor I know it is a necessary one. We are starting a new series “Dear Counselor” where you asked me your questions, and I sat with the Lord and my experience as a counselor to bring you support and an answer that might instill hope. The truth is, you might not like the answer, you might struggle with the concept, and in either of those spaces, there is so much grace for you! I encourage you to listen with an open heart and open mind and not to just stop there but consider and journal what thoughts and feelings come up.
I’m not your “usual” podcast - I’m not here just to educate or inform but hopefully to impact your heart to heal. 
 
 
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Follow us on social media:
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Sifted Wheat Podcast
 
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Making our way back to healthy sexuality

We can’t end this series without talking about healthy sexuality, and in this conversation I provide a roadmap that can help us get back to it. We need to move through what pornography taught us, what trauma embedded and any other confusion that might be making it something different than it was meant to be. There are some points that might not be appreciated, that go against what culture tells us about sexuality and health. We discuss the role of marriage in intimacy and how it is more than just sex but “knowing” that builds trust and security and deeper affections, and we introduce an exercise that has been proven to help couples let down their guard and feel more seen with their partners to be vulnerable and more securely connected. You are invited to join the conversation an discover the path for yourself.
 
Scriptures included:
Genesis 6
Galatians 5:16-26
Genesis 4
 
Gratitude and thanks to our newest social media support - Adrienne Murray
 
You can find us on socials @siftedwheatpodcast or send us as email at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com

Exploring Platonic Intimacy - A Conversation with Dr. Brooke Keels

In this conversation, I’m joined by my dear friend and colleague, Dr. Brooke Keels,  Ph.D., LPC-MHSP, LPC-Supervisor. She is the Chief Clinical Officer at Lighthouse, located in Dallas Texas, where she works to create, implement, and oversee multiple programs. She has worked in the recovery industry in a professional capacity for over 16 years in a variety of roles. I know you will appreciate her wisdom on the topic of Platonic Intimacy, her personal journey of seeing its importance, and the advice she gives us to make it a bigger deal in our lives.
We discuss the pitfalls of aligning intimacy with only sexuality, and how done right, platonic intimacy is most stable of relationships. To be fair, we also discuss how it’s a sacrifice to be in relationship and that regardless of what culture tells us, it can’t be based only on what feels good. True depth of relationship is forged in tension and being sharpened.
Listen in and find out for yourself how you can develop healthier platonic intimacy and where you can start now to engage it differently and with more intentionality!
 
NOTE: The  Verse in Acts (2:43-45) is what Brooke is referring to when she points to sacrifice in community and relationship. And she also references the following source and quote:
“But fellowship is a sacrifice that goes beyond convenience.”
From The Kris Vallotton Podcast: Developing Healthy Communities
You can listen here : https://podcast.krisvallotton.com/developing-healthy-communities
 
Thanks so much for choosing then Sifted Wheat podcast! We are grateful for your support and your listenership. If you don’t mind, would you leave us a rating and/or review? And if this episode was significant, would you share it with a friend or two?
 
Until next time follow us on Instagram @siftedwheatpodcast or email us at siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com 🌾🤎
 

Laws of Attraction

It’s time for another episode in the continued exploration of “sexuality.”
What forms and develops our attraction? Why does that matter? And how can we safe guard our heart from the pitfalls of attraction? Those are the questions we are addressing today. And I pray they are not only revelatory but they are impactful to your relationships - the ones you are in, the ones you are developing and the ones you need to leave behind. Where ever you find yourself in the spectrum, there is a word of wisdom and hope for you!
 
Referenced scripture: 
Song of Songs (Solomon) 8:4 and 9
 
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Sex isn't everything

*Trigger Warning*
This week’s episode is about exploring why it’s important to realize that sex isn’t everything and everything isn’t sex. I wrestled with what to name this because I didn’t want people to push it away without giving it a chance.. so, I might have given it a bit of a “clickbaity” title to encourage some curiosity? Maybe that’s why you are here, and now that you are, as promised, here are the questions I encouraged you to sift through in your own process of evaluation and assessment of the role of sexuality And the interruption of shame in your story:
Where have you confused the mechanisms of sex with intimacy?
Where have you placed expectations on yourself or those in your life to meet those needs sexually instead of connecting more vulnerably to be seen and known?
Where do you need to set boundaries in relationships so that you can be more confident that it truly is a healthy, life-giving relationship and not a means of releasing sexual frustration?
How old were you when you had your first experience?
What belief systems resulted from that?
Are you still living out of those fears and expectations?
Have you resorted to sexual activities to meet non-sexual needs?
 
Then as a parent or as an adult: Have you mistaken sexual behaviors in children as “dirty” or “shameful” without considering they might not understand either of those terms?
Have you shamed yourself for these things?
Have you considered what you might need when you resort to self-soothing behaviors and pornography?
Are you seeking sex or do you really need to be loved, held, seen, valued, comforted? Are you bored, tired or emotional? What can you do instead to shift this temptation to something that is more satisfying and less shame-filled?
 
After you listen, find a safe space to work through these questions with an accountability partner, a spouse, a pastor or a licensed counselor.. the more we open this space in safety, the less hold shame has over us.
 
As always, you can direct any thoughts or questions to our email siftedwheatpodcast@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram @siftedwheatpodcast for more encouragement, engagement, and content. 🤎
 

Let's talk about sex

In this conversation we are going to address how my own misuse and exposure to pornography has impacted my heart, my identity and my marriage.
 
I’m opening up space for us to sit with the following questions:
Where did you learn about sex?
How did you learn what it sounds like, looks like or should feel like? Were you told that porn and masturbation were just a rite of passage?
Were you encouraged to bring pleasure to yourself or to others? And then, how has that affected you? How has it impacted the way your see yourself or the way that you see others? How has it affected your marriage? Your relationships?
Do you feel like you can’t get enough or do you feel like you can’t do enough to stay sexually satisfied?
Per usual, we aren’t dancing around topics that need to be pulled apart and dissected by the light of Truth. So, if you are ready and need support and/ or healing in this space, “Let’s talk about sex.”
 
Scriptures discussed and encouraged to read for yourself:
Genesis 1-2
Leviticus 15
1 Corinthians 7:5
 
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Unwinding sexuality and spirituality

This is the final topic in the conversation of the two worlds we occupy - spiritual and physical, and the first topic in a conversation about sexuality. In this space, I have done a lot of deconstruction and repairing from my own personal trauma and misinformation, and my hope is that this conversation can help you sit with the following questions:
"Is this a trauma or hurt-based response?"
"Do I emphasize my sexual desires over spiritual needs?"
"Are there spaces where I can replace sexuality with deeper connection with God and others?"
"Am I giving access to the enemy through my sexual behaviors?"
 
Listen for more guidance and information to sift through those thoughts.
 
 

The Truth about Spiritual Warfare

Is this a topic that interests you or confuses you? It's true that not everything is a demon, but anything that creates divisiveness and pride and moves outside of the truth, tempting us into misconceptions about God and our identity in Him, this is spiritual gameplay. The spiritual world is very real and moves in and out of the things we do and say, and the more that we are aware of that the more we are empowered to resist it.
This week we are looking at the spiritual side of our battles. We often overlook this in the overwhelming sensation of emotions and physical experiences, but when we allow spiritual warfare to inform our choices, our thoughts and our actions, it can bring peace instead of defeat.
Scriptures referenced:
2 Kings 6
2 Chronicles 32:7-8; 15-22
John 19:11
Ephesians 6:10-18
 
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